ОК, раз никто не постит - пощу я. Этот фанфик я нашла на англ. языке, к сожалению. Если у кого-то возникнет желание перевести - прошу
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They told me once -- they told me so many times, that I, the great judge and executioner, was once a man. A man of death and redemption, but a man none the less. What am I if I am not a man no longer?
I have lost the sensation of time, the sensation of battle lust. I have lost it all in the same moment I came to be as God’s will. As God’s judgment. God’s executioner. I am her battle lust, her raging fire, her tranquility in carnage. I am all that she could not bear to be. Thus, she created me.
The God of Death.
The God of Destruction.
The God of Desecration.
This is what I am. Pyramid Head. That is what her followers call me. What James, that vile, loathsome, murdering man calls me. And I ruined him. I ruined him into an eternal and internal abyss known as hate. He came here looking for penance, and he received what a sinner such as he couldn’t comprehend. He deserved it. All of it. He’s nothing now. Nothing but a quivering mortal in a coil of schizophrenic -- malicious tendencies as he rocks back and forth inside Brookhaven’s mental ward.
James. James. James. He brought out the worst in me. The violator inside the smoldering, festering womb. A womb of death plague; a disease. I caused his insanity, and I still smile and grin. Deviance is beauty in my world. Hatred is lust. Blood, gore, death is my sexual craze. I still think of Maria. How silky smooth I made her. And only for James’ great demise. How I killed her over and over again. My knife plunging through breast bone, stomach, spine, and back. How I happily and cleaned her remains off my knife and resurrected her. Revived her only to do it all over again.
I am a man. I have needs. I have wants.
I am a God. I have needs. Wants. The only difference is, I have the power to take it, where mortals do not. I can have it all. I can want and need, and I can take. The only downfall, I have noticed, is the helmet. This sign that I will never taste human flesh. Never taste an erect nipple, or kiss a slender neck.
I feel instead. I feel and touch and take. Take. Take. Take.
I want to taste, to lick, to bite. To rage and moan and scream. To show a facial expression of sexual enlightenment as I cum -- as I take the decaying, mutilated nurses and mannequins. As I shatter them, break them, bend them to my will. And I know, and knew, that James was watching. Watching in the closet as I fucked that monster.
He wanted it to be himself. He wanted. Want. Want. Want. But I take. I take and break and throw it away. He secretly envied me. James. As I stared into the closet. I smiled inside myself. Smiled and laughed heartlessly -- listlessly. I had him then. I had him, but I walked away.
He needed to know who the boss was. Who I was before I killed him. He wanted penance, he got it. All of it. He wanted to be me. To feel the ecstasy of what it is to be a murderer, an executioner, and judge.
I still cackle. Still laugh. Grin. I am the ultimate sadist. Ultimate satisfaction in a woman’s fantasy. A nightmare come true to those who want it. God said that I was once beautiful. That I was once captivating. Now I am more.
I am obscure, grotesque. I am. I am. I am.
I am you. I am everyone. I am their hate. Their prayers. Their nightmares. Their fantasies. Erection. Thoughts. Catastrophe. I am everything. Envy. Lust. Gluttony. Pride. Wrath. Sloth. Greed.
Envy. I envy that I cannot do what you do. Taste what you taste. See what you see. Until I think about how much more excruciating the pleasure of listening to a blistering scream, a death rattle is on my side.
Lust. Lust for everything I can take into my bosom and humiliate, murder, fuck, and torture.
Sloth. Lazy about nothing and everything at all. Slow strides. Slow and calculated and misunderstood until the last minute. Last breath. Exhale.
Gluttony. I hunger for carnage. I hunger for the smell of blood and sweat. I hunger for the screams of my victims and the way they writhe against me. I take them many times over. I hunger. I hunger and never ease my appetite for one, small thing.
Pride. Pride in my work. My job. My God. In myself. I am all. I am this. I am pride.
Wrath. Anger. I leave everything dismembered, amputated, and horrifying in my wake. I am all. I am one.
I am perfection.
(с)